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Two dog days gone
Well a year has come and gone. I’ve not been much of a writer lately, but here are some reflections of a year gone by.
1. What is the single most valuable thing I’ve learned? How many have learned to say no? Many. You can be on social media all day long and never say yes to anything. Not because the requests are too many, or the quality poor, or anything like that. It’s just that I’m a busy guy and I don’t do it as much as I used to. It is more valuable to me to have said no than to have said yes. I can live without most everything I do, if I have to. This is good practice for when I’m in a tight situation in the future.
2. I love my friends and family more than ever. In the year or so I have been doing this, I haven’t had to say this, because they know. Everyone who reads this blog (and the ones you meet by other means) knows that I love my friends and family. I’m so glad that I have such a good relationship with them. I would never want anyone else to be my friend. I love the fact that I can go home from the club and they’re right there. It was a lot to get used to last year, and this year I’m just grateful to have them.
3. I can read a little more than before. Since losing the fullness of my vision to glaucoma, it has been pretty hard to read as much as I used to. I just haven’t done it. I feel like I’m still getting “acclimated” to reading my iPhone, the little bit I do, and that’s a blessing, but I really do miss the big books. They have a way of pulling a reader into another world, and I think I’ll miss that when I return to reading paper books.
4. I just realized that now, I own and love everything in my wardrobe. I can still wear my clothes, although they will always be my “big” clothes now. They won’t be as big as my dresses and shirts, but they’re still big to me. I don’t care that they aren’t huge anymore. I just feel like I don’t own anything big and I don’t know why that’s so. I love the clothes I have, but I don’t really own “big” clothes. I’m going to make some changes in that department.
5. I have my confidence back. Since going blind, I have always had to work on my confidence. I think it’s one of the harder things to learn to be confident with yourself, with your choices, etc. I feel like this summer I learned a lot about my confidence, and I have no regrets on this journey. I have done the research I needed to do to be sure that I was doing the right thing, that I would eventually be able to see again. I learned so much about patience and about faith. I learned about myself and about my new life.
I can see that I will probably need to have someone with me for the first few days, so I am taking a lot of my momma-training and teaching her the ropes. I have a feeling that my dad will be showing up more often, but I also have a feeling that he won’t be showing up a lot, because he is having a rough time. He doesn’t like the idea of me not being able to see, and I’m sure he’s not going to let me go through this alone. I know that my grandmother has been teaching my dad how to love and to show that love to me, because he’s not used to doing that, and I’m sure that’s what he’ll try to do with me. He’ll want to protect me.
So there you go! The 5 changes I’ve made. There will be more in the future. I’m sure of it. I’m also sure that I will make a lot of mistakes, and I’ll have to deal with them. I have to admit that there are moments when I feel scared, because I’m going to have to learn to trust the people who are helping me. I have to work on my patience, because there are going to be times when I am not as patient as I could be, and it’s going to be really hard to make these changes. I’m going to have to work on my emotions.
I’m not the only one with MS, and there are a lot of people who struggle with trust and not trusting other people. I want to help my father and my family, and I have to work hard to show them that I’m going to be all right.
I hope this has helped you.
You can learn more about the 5 changes you can make in your life if you read about them on the first page of my other post.
I have been very quiet lately. The reason for that is that I want to share some things with you about me, my life, and my struggles with MS, in case you care to read them.
There are many things I can do in my life now because I have MS, but there is one thing that I struggle with – I don’t know how to live my life.
I don’t know what to do with my time.
How am I supposed to be productive?
How am I supposed to make my life worthwhile?
How am I supposed to spend my time?
How do I make choices?
How am I supposed to make a difference in the world?
How am I supposed to be happy?
These are all things that have haunted me for a long time. I wish I had the answers, but I don’t. I have tried making choices, but I didn’t know which choices to make. Sometimes I have decided that it was time to decide what to do. Other times, it didn’t seem that important.
There were always a lot of things that I wanted to accomplish, but they never seemed important enough to sacrifice what I wanted to do for.
As you read in my other post, my life has been turned upside down for a while. That’s what happened when I first got sick.
I have a lot of goals.
Like, a lot.
I have no idea how I am going to make them come to fruition, but the fact that I have goals means that I have purpose.
As a matter of fact, I decided that I wanted to make a documentary for the MS Society and my blog is there to help others. That’s why I am here – because I can. I can still write and I can still work and I can still do things that bring me purpose.
There is so much that I would like to do in my life, but my life has changed.
I want to write another book, but with a new perspective.
I want to volunteer my time helping other people.
I want to work on my music, but I have limited ability with my arms.
I want to write more than one post a week.